Welcoming The 20th Wedding Anniversary

The 20th year mark of the marriage with my husband came swiftly. Looking back on the day my husband and I signed the paper in Tokyo to tie the knot, we seemed so young. Even though the day feels like a lifetime ago, the last 20 years since then had gone by in fast forward. Our marriage, friendship, and partnership have truly been an amazing journey, which filled our life together with challenges, excitements, hardships, and rewards.

You might wonder how we celebrated the milestone. It was rather ordinary just in the way I like. To celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, my husband and I went to a fancy restaurant for a blissful dinner by ourselves. We got cleaned up and dressed up for the occasion. Unfortunately, we both had been dealing with runny nose in the last couple of days. Throughout the night, we could not help but blow our noses while we sat under the romantic candle light. It didn’t bother me, though. He and I were happily together, blessed with our wonderful kids and our good health. We needed nothing more.

Reflecting On The 20 Years Of Marraige

When we got married 20 years ago, we were in such a different place from now that we didn’t have a clue where our life would take us. Even though our future seemed uncertain at the time, I was totally blinded by the love and thus, I had no fear. Being able to wake up by his side and seeing him at the beginning and end of each day made me happier than anything. To this day it hasn’t changed.

From our first move together from Japan to the U.S. with two suitcases and two boxes, we have now grown to move with 5 suitcases and between 150 and 200 boxes. Our first road trip from Texas to D.C. Metropolitan area for the start of his new career was so difficult that we promised we would never try to go on a road trip again with each other. We clearly had no idea what was in store for us. We have hopped from one country to another starting with just 2 of us and eventually with 3 kids in tow. In retrospect, that road trip was the easiest of all.

I believe that no marriage is easy. Ours was no exception. We had to learn to compromise, forgive, be patient, care, encourage, work together and love no matter what came in our way. It was an enduring process rather than a switch we turned on with a vow we took. We had to constantly learn about each other. Our marriage was like learning how to slow dance together. We might have stepped on each others feet at the beginning, but now we manage to dance without falling even if one of us stumbles. If we fall, we simply pick up from where we left off as if nothing happened.

What I Gained In The Last 20 Years

The last 20 years gave me more opportunities to learn about myself than I did when I was single. I had to come face to face with my own self. My insecurity surfaced time to time and caused problems. I had to work on my insecurity diligently. That meant I had to reflect on my past, explore who I would like to be, and know what I wanted in my life in the frame of our marriage and the lifestyle we have chosen together. This was essential in order to sustain a healthy marital relationship. It has been a humbling experience.

If there was one thing that I learned in my marriage, it would be the importance of forgiving. We all make mistakes. Forgiving doesn’t mean that we forget about what has happened. It is an arduous process of talking, seeing from the other’s perspective, understanding and letting go. Key factors for a successful talk with my husband that I learned were to talk with facts and to not base arguments on emotions. Every process of forgiving brought me back to the reason why I fell in love with him in the first place and fortified the foundation of our love.

I have been able to grow thanks to my husband who has always been by my side. He has made time to patiently listen to me, helped me put things in perspective, encouraged and supported me. His continuous love have made me a stronger independent person. His understanding made me desire to be a better individual and partner to him. I hope I was able to do the same for him.

Creating Your Own Story

Every marriage has its own unique story. My husband and I have created our story with twists and turns. It’s neither better nor worse than others. It is the story that belongs only to us; we are proud to own it.

I am eternally thankful for our family members who trusted us with our decision of our marriage 20 years ago and continuously supported us along the way. I am grateful for our old and new friends who have enriched our lives and blessed us with friendships throughout the years.

It has been incredible to have been able to walk a life passage with a partner with whom I share the same values. The greatest gift to me besides our children is having seen the world with him. Who knows what lies ahead of our future? One thing I know is that I would like to continue to create our life story as long as we are allowed.

The white roses and peonies are artificial flowers. I purchased them for the anniversary at Landmark in Manila. You might think it’s corny to buy artificial flowers for the wedding anniversary. I would much rather have real flowers. My thinking, though, was that they last forever and help me because I don’t have to fight the traffic in Manila, our current home, to buy new flowers every week. Convenience won over the beauty of real flowers. We all need a break from traffic.