Many people in the world have faced with stresses related to numerous adjustments that they had to make due to the COVID-19 pandemic. Some had to adjust from the beginning of 2020. Some others just entered the phase to adjust in March. One of the biggest adjustments involves parents having to adopt a role to assist their own children at home for distance learning or home schooling. On top of that, for working parents, they had to adjust to working from home while supervising the children.

Some parents have just embarked on this journey of home schooling or distance learning fairly recently including myself. We can all learn from those who have experienced and gone through the changes and adjustments before us.

Two parents whom I know have published their advice on Social Media after nearly 2 months of life under quarantine. They both are also expats living overseas: Michelle Rines in Hong Kong and Rachel Morris Bishop in Shenzhen, China. I know both of them through our time in Mumbai, India and have fond memories of them. Michelle is a high school science teacher with a high school child who was my oldest daughter’s friend in Mumbai. She posted both her and Rachel’s advice in her post, so I am going to quote her post down here with both of their pieces of advice.

The Japanese translation is available here.
日本語訳は、こちら。

Advice On Life Under Quarantine

As we start week 7 of virtual learning and watch the meltdown in the US I’ve been asked to send out some of the things we’ve learned over the last 2 months. Some of this I’m going to steal from my good friend Rachel because her posts are absolutely spot on when it comes to this situation (she’s next door to us in Shenzhen). I’m not going to comment on whether or not social distancing is important. This is really just my experience with 6 weeks of working from home with my family.

Give Your Families A Few Weeks To Adjust

To start, give your families a few weeks to adjust. You might not think this is stressful but being at home, disrupting everything about your daily schedule and suddenly being responsible for new things is going to throw both parents and kids out of whack. So, lighten up. I think it’s a victory if your kids just remain connected to school. Most of them, even the HS kids (which we have at home) aren’t built to be autonomous learners. Cut them as much slack as you can and praise the good work they do. Also, watch your own stress levels. Don’t underestimate your own needs here – most of us over here found our workloads doubled in the first few weeks as we tried to adapt our own jobs to the “at home” mode.

Be Prepared For Every Activity To Be Off Limits

Some activities you haven’t even thought about will be cancelled. For us, the hardest part of school cancellation was the host of other activities that shut down around it. We forget that most sports/hobby associations tie their safety protocols to schools – so when the schools shut, the facilitates and organizations shut down too. Be prepared for every activity your kids are in to be off limits – and for longer than you expect.

To Playdate Or Not To Playdate

To playdate or not to playdate? We live in a slightly different city than most of you back home do – Hong Kong is giant playground for teenagers. So, Morgan’s freedom here may not mirror what you have in suburban USA. Generally speaking, she has 1 friend that she spends her weekends with. They alternate houses, they hike outside a lot and visit the beach, but they don’t go out for noodles, movies, or to hang in cool neighborhoods anymore. My advice for families – stay social with people you trust in small settings where hygiene can be controlled. And, make it clear to your kids that this is how it’s going to work for the foreseeable future so they aren’t pissed at you in a week! They’ll be good with stuff around the house for like 4-5 days – after that you need to get creative. Also, we parents need playdates. We’ve stayed social. I’ll give you the same advice as before – stay small. Meet with like minded people who maintain good hygiene and be reasonable. We’ve had a few dinners out, dinners at friends houses, and hikes galore – we wash our hands religiously. Most of our time is spent at home with our three member family.

Spend Time Doing Stuff That Doesn’t Involve Technology

Stealing from my friend, Rachel Bishop – this is where the family comes in. Rachel nailed it in her post – this entire episode has made our family stronger, too. It’s so important to spend time together doing stuff that doesn’t involve technology and to just have each others back. Watch this one – if classes are online your kids can easily be sucked into the technology vacuum. So, color, paint, draw, bake, read, watch an old movie together, play a board game – anything that just connects you to people. Your kids will be stressed and they’ll miss their friends – a lot. Don’t discount this or ignore it – we certainly have become more aware of how stressed our teenager is even though she is managing this beautifully. So, just be the parents who ask if everything is ok and be ready for the typical “I’m fine” and follow it with a hug. Hugs work wonders – we hug a lot right now.

Expect A “Quarantine Day”

When we lived in Mumbai we’d watch the newbies come in and wait to see when they had their first “Mumbai Days”. These were days when the whole world just fell down around you and the stress from being immersed in a new culture was just too much. We’d watch so we could help, but we knew some people emerged from those days as stoic warriors who embraced their surroundings and others packed their bags and fled the country. I imagine that this situation is pretty darn similar. Somewhere in the first 3 weeks your family is going to have a “Quarantine Day”. There is nothing you can do to avoid it so my advice is just know it’s coming. On this note, don’t forget your single friends. The people who don’t have hugs at home are the ones that will suffer first. Reach out to them regularly and let them know you care.

Be Patient, Stick Together, & Be Rationale

Oh, and stop buying toilet paper. If you didn’t get it in the first round of freak out don’t worry, it’ll reappear in about a week and then stores will have so much toilet paper – you’ll see how foolish the panic was.

Anyway – this isn’t ground breaking advice – but enough of you have reached out that I thought I’d put something out here. The Rines family is fine – we’re managing and in some cases, rocking, this quarantine. We have 3-4 more weeks left before our spring break and we hope to be back at school April 20th. For those of you just starting out, be patient, stick together, and be rationale about why social distancing is important.

Written by Michelle Rines

 

Having lived under the enhanced community quarantine for several days, I realized that I had taken my norms for granted. The recent case has proven that basic needs such as our health and the freedom to safely walk outside without worrying about contracting diseases are not always up to individuals to attain. It requires a collective effort. Now I appreciate every day when I am able to wake up in the morning, see the sun light and be with my family.

Distance Learning

Having gone through a week and a half of distance learning, I can confidently say that all three of my children, one in high school, one in middle school and one in elementary school, actually thrive in the structure. I’m very thankful for the wonderful programs that their school continues to provide for the students. I can’t thank enough to the teachers for their efforts to stay connected with the students despite the fact that they also experience a great amount of stress on a daily basis.

Having said that, on the very first day when our children started distance learning, I actually felt stressed out with the amount of work that I thought I had to do with my 2nd grader. I didn’t know the expectations that were put on the parents. Plus, my youngest child needed my help to get accustomed to the new style of learning. It was a full time job. As a result, I lost my free time. After having completed the first day, though, I felt my attitude shift. Part of it was the realization that things will get easier as we get more adjusted.

Are You Stressed About Home Schooling?

Over time through the communications with the teachers and schools, I came to understand better that the distance learning especially for younger children is to keep them connected with school in a disruptive time. I heard from one parent that it was causing her so much stress because her young children were distressed by the assignments. If studying at home is stressful, I believe that it is okay not to do it. Parent’s mental health is far more important than kids’ keeping up with their grade-level education in the time of crisis.

Here is a post done by an unknown person. I hope that reading this will be helpful for some parents.

Source Unknown

Expats Living Abroad, Here’s What You Should Do Now

Life can be very unpredictable. Especially now, it feels more so than ever. Many expats live under the new regulations posed by their host countries’ governments. In such time, one can feel very disconnected from the rest of the world and scared.

You may have to fly back to your home country with a very short notice. Check your and your family members’ passport expiration dates as well as your visa expiration dates. If your visa is expired, you may not be able to leave the country.

Gather necessary documents to take with you because you may not be able to fly back to your overseas home for much longer than you anticipate. If you have pets, figure out who will take care of your pets in advance.

What To Put In A Go Bag ☆ Basic Items For Disaster Response

Sudden changes are never easy, but over time we can all adapt ourselves in the new norms. Let this time be the period of reflection and the opportunity to grow ourselves for the better future. We’ll come out of this time more resilient and knowledgable.

Please stay well and safe, everyone!