When you open a comment on your blog and realize that it is filled with hate, it will hit you like a fan of heat. As much as it was unpleasant to read it, I felt the need to study it. I believe that we can all learn from anything negative. There is always a silver lining. Moreover, we have the power to extract something positive out of negative.
I received a comment from an anonymous person on my last post. I shared the comment on my Facebook page and I received an overwhelming support from my readers. The words my readers gave me were so amazing and powerful to me that it turned out to be the most heartwarming event in my personal blogging career.
According to the most recent statistics in 2021 by First Site Guide, 570 million blogs are active. I’m one of 32 million bloggers in the world. Haters are working hard out there.
The environment of blogging has changed quite a bit since I started blogging back in 2010, 11 years ago. However, one thing that hasn’t change is the presence of haters. I have been aware of them all along. If this is my first time encountering a hater in the last 11 years, it’s actually not too bad.
Let’s face it. Haters exist. If you put your opinions, especially controversial ones, out in a publicly accessible place, there is always a risk of attracting haters and trolls. Blogging allows amateur writers to write with the same risk and responsibility that professional writers take on. It’s very important for bloggers to understand that it is a risky business.
How do we handle them? Here are some questions you can ask yourself to process it.
Is the language appropriate?
There is a big difference between a constructive criticism and a paragraph filled with foul language. If you receive a constructive criticism without any offensive expressions, I think it’s worth reflecting on it. That person is trying to make a point and help you. If the comment is filled with some offensive language, that is like a breath of anger blowing at you. A hater needs someone to hear her/him out and using offensive language is his/her way to catch your attention. Don’t take it personally.
Did the commenter really read your blog content?
If the person who commented knows your content left and right and still writes a hateful message, you may want to pay attention to that. That may mean something very important to you. On the other hand, if someone constructs a hateful message based on the assumption on your content, it’s not worthy of fretting about. You should be able to tell if the person wrote a hateful message by glancing at your blog, photos or your social media profile. In this case, the criticism is general and not specific to what you write. The comment on my blog was written by the latter. Someone who doesn’t know about you can’t get to your core because she/he doesn’t know you well enough to do that.
Does a commenter bring up an issue?
A constructive criticism would have a specific issue about your writing or content. If there is no issue to point out, a commenter will just use general offensive words to criticize you without being precise. You can just hear their words from one ear and let them through from the other.
The best response is no response.
Why do people post hateful comments? First they want your attention. Then, they want you to be upset and see you visibly upset by responding to their comments. They are not worthy of your time to construct a response to that. The only reason why you should write a response is to show your readers how you can handle such a comment.
The issue is not with you. It’s with them.
People who would spend time offending others have issues in their lives. They are not happy with their own lives. Remember that issues lie with them, not you. Don’t let those hateful words crawl around in your head and affect your emotions. Accept the fact that you received such a comment, but let it go. You can let it go.
Breath. You’re okay.
Yoga practice has helped me in many situations. It is not just about physical exercise. Yoga practice is also about how you handle your emotions and mental state even when you step out of your yoga mat. Breath. Mindful breathing will help you calm your mind and rationalize your thinking. Tell yourself that you’re okay. Your mind needs to hear it from you that you’re doing okay. Is there a yoga class that teaches gentle yoga? Try it. It will relax your mind and help you release negative energy from your body.
Share with your community.
As I mentioned above, I did. It’s not healthy to keep it inside. I shared it with my community of readers. My wonderful readers sent me words of encouragement. In fact, I received an overwhelming responses. It made me realize that this incident turned out to be a testament to my community I have created.
Thank you all for choosing my blog out of 32 million blogs to read. Your presence here means more than anything to me. You are the reason why I keep writing. Thank you for providing me with a purpose to continue on this platform. I’m forever grateful for your support.
HELPFUL RELATED ARTICLES
BLOG Q&A: WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT HATERS? | A BEAUTIFUL MESS
Haters Gonna Hate: How to Deal with Blog Haters | BUSINESS 2 COMMUNITY
There Will Be Haters | GOINS, WRITER
Love all of the above. It takes an incredibly strong soul to handle this with such perspective, resilience and grace. Can’t say I’m the least bit surprised.
Thank you so much for this sweet compliment!!! It means so much to me to hear this from you!
Kaho, I have been a fan of your blog since your Jakarta days. You’ve been a wonderful resource on so many fronts and it brightens my day to read your cheerful, thoughtful, and helpful posts. Thank you for providing a place of positive energy over the years, and please keep it up! You always have a fan in me and I appreciate all of the time and work that goes in to keeping your blog alive.
Thank you so much for the very thoughtful comment about my blog. I’m honored to know that you’ve been reading my blog all these years! This made my day! It means a lot for me to know that you took your time to leave me such a heartwarming message. Thank you.