Accidentally Homeschooling
I have been homeschooling my pre-k son. I say “accidentally” because it wasn’t in my plan to homeschool him. In fact, I was preparing to send him to a preschool. We live in the area where almost all preschool aged children especially at his age (as far as I know) go to a preschool. “Accidentally homeschooling” because if we didn’t move back to the D.C. metropolitan area in the last year of my son’s preschool, I probably would have not chosen this path. In expat life it’s not uncommon to fall into a situation accidentally.
Expat Life & Pre-School Overseas
My son attended a local Montessori preschool in Mumbai, India for a year and a half starting at the age of 3. After school, he often had a play date. Sometimes I took him to a play date and many other times, play dates were conducted by nannies.
In Mumbai I was active with many activities that didn’t involve my son. There were nights when I didn’t tuck him in bed because I had some evening functions to attend with my husband. The life as an expat wife and mom in India was liberating and wonderful. At the same time I definitely missed out on some precious times with my young children especially my youngest.
Reality I Faced in the U.S.
He was 4 and a half when we moved back to the U.S. The competition to get into preschools in the D.C. Metropolitan area is quite high for his age. Normally an application process starts in the spring in this area. By the time I started contacting preschools in the summer, all of the preschools that I was interested were full.
In September I put his name down on a wait list at one preschool that I really liked. Even though it was the most affordable option out there, it was still a big chunk of money that had to be put aside for it every month. I started to wonder if I could afford him to be at the school only for 3 hours. I could imagine that I would barely get things done in between dropping him off at 9:00 a.m. and picking him up at noon.
Selfishly it felt inconvenient.
Making A Decision
A couple of months passed. My son being the youngest of my 3 children, it was a breeze to have him around. I started to really enjoy one on one time with him whose personality seemed to have blossomed so much in the recent past. Came November, I received a phone call and learned that a spot just opened up for a 5-day a week class for him.
To my surprise, I vacillated.
After having spent many days searching for the right answer, I came to a conclusion that I wanted to keep him home and teach him myself. It wasn’t an easy decision. I had many doubts. Nevertheless, I trusted my guts and leaped into homeschooling my son until he starts kindergarten.
Reasons For Homeschooling
There are several reasons that I factored in when I made the decision.
1. I felt the need to spend more time with my son before he starts kindergarten in a year. I wanted to make up for the time I lost when I was living overseas with a household help.
2. As I mentioned above, 3 hours felt too short for me to leave him at school. Since I got so used to having him around for 3 months, it did not appeal to me that I had to change my routines based on his pick-up time.
3. It was the most economical option. It helped save money for a trip to Japan for my kids and myself to spend time with my family.
4. It also crossed my mind that I would be able to teach him more Japanese if he stayed home. He would lose his Japanese proficiency in no time once he gets showered with English at school at such a young age.
5. In terms of my son’s social life, I wasn’t worried. Since my son is our 3rd, we have been able to meet a handful of children of his age through our existing friends in the area, network, neighborhood and activities.
Actual Homeschooling
I don’t see myself a homeschool type of mom. I never fancied homeschooling. I’m neither organized (I’m better at spontaneous) nor disciplined (I bend rules…). My fuse can get short with my children. Despite my personality traits, it felt like homeschooling my preschool son was feasible. I am not very good at setting a routine, but I forced myself to create a routine of sitting with him at a table to study in the morning after we send off his sisters.
Having this routine made it much easier for me to manage homeschooling. He used to be glued to a TV in the morning, but it stopped as soon as we started studying together.
Pre-K seems to be a significant step stone prior to starting an elementary education. It looked to me that a foundation for a child’s academic success in the years to come can be formed at this stage. I wasn’t confident that I would be able to successfully pursue this responsibility. When I felt nervous, I told myself that pre-K is not compulsory education in the United States (or in Japan, either). This fact allowed me to relax. (Side notes: There are states that offer free pre-K programs at public schools for 4-year-olds such as Washington, D.C., but Virginia has not followed the trend.)
Learning Curve For Both
I learned about myself as well as my son through the experience of homeschooling him.
He can be restless. He can get distracted easily. When he is focused on solving a problem, though, he has the cutest look that I want to imprint in my memory forever.
I go through ups and downs. I get irritated with my son when he repeatedly makes the same mistakes or doesn’t remember something he heard many times or just a few minutes ago. I’m learning to be patient. I keep reminding myself that he’s only 5 and I am fortunate to witness my son grow up this way.
Activities For Pre-K Kids
1. Workbooks
I went to a book store several times and purchased workbooks. Everyday in the morning after we send off his sisters to school, we sit down at our table together and study workbooks together. Having this routine really helps me and my son.
2. Story Times
There are story times and music classes for free available at public libraries in the U.S. Sometimes there are activities offered in communities for little ones as well.
3. Library
I take my son to a library to read and check out books. It’s a great place to hang out when studying at home gets dull for little ones.
4. Museums
As you probably know there are many amazing museums in Washington, D.C. I have been able to go to a special exhibition such as Yayoi Kusama Exhibit with my son.
5. Parks
To me at his age, the most important activity for my pre-k son is to play. When the weather is nice, I take my son out to a playground and let him run around.
6. Ice Skating
I take my son to ice skating on a regular basis. I taught him how to ice skate. It became an activity that he and I do together and I really enjoy it as well. It was an excellent activity especially when it was too cold to play outside.
8. Play Dates
I have been able to arrange regular play dates for my son with his friends in the afternoon so that he can interact with his friends.
Motherhood & Homeschooling My Youngest
My motherhood with under school age kids is about to end in several months. I have dedicated my time for my children for over 12 years. While I feel very excited, I do have mixed feelings. Having my son at home for the last year of pre-k was definitely the right decision that I made for myself as a mother. I hope that it will be the right and good decision for my son’s future as well. I cannot wait to find out about it when he’s a bit older.
Hi! I guess few years passed since I last read your blog, and I’m not even sure if you remember me, but anyway, something about homeschooling pulled my attention because I just started homeschooling my youngest daughter last year. I made her finish her 5th grade at local Philippine school, and started her homeschooling using American provider.
“I learned about myself as well as my son through the experience of homeschooling him.” is exactly how I felt too.
But both my daughter and I never regretted about this decision. Just in a year, she transformed herself to a better learner, better thinker, and happier person. There are many options to educate our children, so I am not totally against regular school. But Philippine local schools are controlled by Department of Education of the Philippines, and they don’t have a good curriculum (IMO). Study became more than 10 times harder in fact, even though this US provider is a lot lenient compared to some homeschool providers who aim students to graduate with advanced high school diploma. It’s just that Philippine local school she attended was not teaching well. I think most of Philippine schools like to focus on memorization about many facts, as if they are already in college, but not teaching children to think and organize thoughts. So it was for her first time to write an essay at 6th grade! Since the provider allows us to finish earlier or later, depends on one’s pace, it took us 14months to finish her grade 6. I also need to consider about her extra curricular such as ballet (14 hours a week), horse back riding lesson ( twice a week), and piano, oboe, and voice lesson, and she also join homeschool center to mingle with other children and have some volunteer work, too. The beauty of this homeschool to me is the pace I can adjust according to her ability. She has a friend who is also 7th grade, but the boy is not doing the math text which was sent by provider, and he is just studying Algebra on his own. For my youngest daughter, if she likes certain topic, we spend more time searching about it in internet even they don’t come out in exam. So you see, the learning became fun because she can choose what she wants to know better, and she can take tests when she is prepared well.
I heard some Ivy league universities announced that they prefer homeschool children, but students who made it to Harvard or Yale from homeschooling took advantage of their flexible time to sit in college courses offered to high school students, or they joined many other activities and courses according to their interests, from what I read in internet. And that is exactly the point of studying. My youngest daughter was bad in math, science, English, social studies. She was just good at sports and music when she was in local school. But now she studies so hard to aim score 100. I now realized that she was not doing well because teaching method was not suitable to her.
Thank you so much for the comment! I am so sorry for taking so long to write you back. Things got a bit crazy in June. It’s amazing that you home school your middle school daughter! Compared to what you do, what I did with my son was minimal. It’s almost like playing and I had no pressure as he didn’t have to pass any tests. I am amazed by your dedication! It is a big commitment for parents to start homeschooling and I don’t know if I would have the patience to continue with home schooling my son from kindergarten and above. At the same time, I agree with you that the benefit of home schooling children is to have a flexibility to modify and mold the style of teaching to suit the individual’s needs. I learned weaknesses of my child through teaching him. I’m not the best and patient teacher, so I’m not sure if he benefited from my teaching in that sense. I still hope that I was able to teach him something. Good luck with your teaching! I hope you will be able to relax this summer!